Frida.  Dear Frida.  On Thursday afternoon Lacey and I decided to help her onto the next stage of her life, commonly referred to as death, on Saturday.  Today!  On Thursday night, though, Lacey and I changed our mind.  Separately but at the same time.  Lacey texted me that she couldn’t do it.  I was feeling the same thing.  It’s that close, but at the same time it is not that close.  It is that confusing.  Friday she had a completely rad day.  Walking like a sighted dog, eyes open more than ever and generally very comfortable and content.  Looking like this.ftd 04.24.15 Today was very good as well.  I cannot imagine having enjoyed a day like Friday and then putting her in the car to take her to the end a day later.  This is so hard!family 04.24.15 Ritual pizza happened.  So good!  They aren’t getting better.  I have been carefully recreating the same crust and sauce ten or eleven times now.  Very consistent.  But they are easier and look a little more pro each time.ritual pizza 04.24.15 Now to the category of less fun.  Did you see Louie this week?  He has a jarring exchange with a proprietor.  It has to do with age.  You should watch it before reading on. Damned if I didn’t have a eerily similar experience just now at the Honest Weight Food Co-op.  Joshua (his name was on my receipt) was ringing up my groceries.

Joshua:  Are you 50 yet?

Me:  No.

Joshua:  That’s good.

Me:  [Confused, pausing a few beats, then…] Why?  What happens when I turn 50?  Do I get a senior discount?

Joshua:  No.  You’ll look your age.  [Awkward pause.]  It was a joke.

Me:  [Confused laugh.  Exit stage left.]

I know my unkempt beard ages me.  In the abstract looking older than my years appeals.  I respect years.  In the real world, just today, I am not so pumped.  I am not super hurt.  I am more surprised by Joshua’s lack of manners.  I had already wheeled my cart past two check out stations occupied by clerks that routinely put me in a mood.  I picked Joshua, an unknown, hoping I could get through the process of handing him $150 for four bags of groceries without being treated poorly.  Just another line I will pass in the future. Yours with fingers crossed that the Co-op adds a self check out line, Randy pcP.S.  Sometimes the world gives you a hug when you need it.  Lacey handed me a postcard from a friend as I walked in the door.  Mailed and typed!  This fellow gives such good mail.  A true gem.


2 responses to “Whiskers

  1. Whenever I check your blog lately to see how Frida is doing I hold my breath as it opens. This post took me on a rollercoaster ride. And if I feel like that, I know what you must be going through. It is never easy to let go of our pets, and you are doing a great job listening to your feelings as well as what Frida tells you. Whatever and whenever you make the final decision, know that it will be the right one, just by the virtue of your love. And know people are thinking of you guys.

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