Frida. Dear Frida. On Thursday afternoon Lacey and I decided to help her onto the next stage of her life, commonly referred to as death, on Saturday. Today! On Thursday night, though, Lacey and I changed our mind. Separately but at the same time. Lacey texted me that she couldn’t do it. I was feeling the same thing. It’s that close, but at the same time it is not that close. It is that confusing. Friday she had a completely rad day. Walking like a sighted dog, eyes open more than ever and generally very comfortable and content. Looking like this. Today was very good as well. I cannot imagine having enjoyed a day like Friday and then putting her in the car to take her to the end a day later. This is so hard! Ritual pizza happened. So good! They aren’t getting better. I have been carefully recreating the same crust and sauce ten or eleven times now. Very consistent. But they are easier and look a little more pro each time. Now to the category of less fun. Did you see Louie this week? He has a jarring exchange with a proprietor. It has to do with age. You should watch it before reading on. Damned if I didn’t have a eerily similar experience just now at the Honest Weight Food Co-op. Joshua (his name was on my receipt) was ringing up my groceries.
Joshua: Are you 50 yet?
Joshua: That’s good.
Me: [Confused, pausing a few beats, then…] Why? What happens when I turn 50? Do I get a senior discount?
Joshua: No. You’ll look your age. [Awkward pause.] It was a joke.
Me: [Confused laugh. Exit stage left.]
I know my unkempt beard ages me. In the abstract looking older than my years appeals. I respect years. In the real world, just today, I am not so pumped. I am not super hurt. I am more surprised by Joshua’s lack of manners. I had already wheeled my cart past two check out stations occupied by clerks that routinely put me in a mood. I picked Joshua, an unknown, hoping I could get through the process of handing him $150 for four bags of groceries without being treated poorly. Just another line I will pass in the future. Yours with fingers crossed that the Co-op adds a self check out line, Randy P.S. Sometimes the world gives you a hug when you need it. Lacey handed me a postcard from a friend as I walked in the door. Mailed and typed! This fellow gives such good mail. A true gem.